Finding Balance: Being a Wife, Mom & Myself

(Original post date Dec 4, 2018)

It's 6:15 in the morning and it feels like I've just gone to sleep. These days I just can't seem to get to bed before midnight and I'm yet wishing there was more time in the day. I'm a mother of two (2 1/2 & 6 months) beautiful little boys and still trying to find a balance. Many days I find myself getting frustrated when things don't go as planned but when my alarm goes off it’s an opportunity to hit the reset button and try again. My daily constants are dressing the children, dropping them off to daycare, going to work, and picking the children up. In between I have to find time to do laundry, cook and be a wife. I'm batting a thousand at being mom; if I might say so myself (pats self on the back). Being truly transparent, I'm struggling in the other areas. This is why I need more time in the day. Wishful thinking.

Being married to an African man, more specifically a Liberian one is no easy feat. Especially if his name is Charles A. Johnson, Jr. Everyone who knows him knows that he is a handful and a half. However, he is still a delight. He's been a little patient with the fact that I do not cook as often as I used to. One day I absolutely had no time to cook so I purchased "pre-seasoned" chicken breasts and threw it in the oven. When I returned home from choir rehearsal he said, "If you are unable to cook don't worry about it because I can taste." I walked out of the room and went downstairs to laugh because I knew "Raisins in the Potato Salad Robin" probably seasoned the chicken. Every time I think of those last three words (I can taste) I begin to laugh all over again.

Standing in these two roles of mom and wife and trying to be my very best at them, it has become my new identity. To a degree. The only time I really have a moment to myself is when my alarm goes off at 6:15am and when I've managed to get the boys in bed. My random stolen moments only occur when I retreat to the bathroom. Even then my moment alone doesn't last much longer because it is interrupted by my two year old. Navigating through my current world has had its ups and downs/highs and lows. In the midst of it all I am learning to infuse MYSELF. I am learning to take care of me and continue to go after my dreams and attain my goals. Though everyday is not easy I am making strides towards finding my balance.

"My purpose is my destiny and my past is my reference." — Emerlyn Deline-Johnson