“This Is My Exodus” Walking Into My New Normal

Hi. My name is Emerlyn and I’m a single mom. 😬Yikes. There. I’ve said it. Does it define me? No. Absolutely not. This is my new normal and I’ve chosen to embrace it. In doing so I would like to give a shout out to all of the single parents (female & male) who have been holding single parenthood down. You all are the real MVPs. I don’t know how so many do it with no help. I have the daily help of my immediate family and still get frustrated (with reason, in my defense).

For those that know and don’t know, I made the decision to move out of my home and back to my parents’ house. That was one of the most stressful, painful and daunting process I’ve ever had to go through. Pretty much reflective of how my year started. But I digress. Making the decision to move was the best decision for the children and I. It has given us the opportunity to start over. Mainly it’s given me the opportunity to just figure things out from all angles. So again kudos to those who have been making it without any help.

In being transparent, there were many days when I get angry about my current situation. As much as my family is very hands on but I would rather have their dad around. I would rather be back in my own space, Chad and Aubrey sleeping in their own rooms and seeing them run to the door to greet their dad. BUT...that’s not my reality anymore. I’m adjusting. I’ve stopped telling myself this is temporary and. I longer have a timeline. Instead I’ve chosen to live and raise my kids while I continue to no chase my dreams but make them come true.

I can honestly say this whole single parenting thing requires soooo much patience. Did I say it requires patience? Oh yes, I did already. It actually requires the patience of Job. Might I add constant prayer. I have TWO under the age of 4.

Aubrey (3) is in that stage of testing my gangsta (daily) and wanting to be independent. Chad (1) is in his exploratory stage and has decided it’s more advantageous as well as convenient to continue to crawl (rather than walk). I guess he’s decided to use his leg strength to dance and climb which have become his favorite pass times.

I literally purchased three gates, transforming my parents living room into Fort Knox; or so I thought. Well, these savvy little crumb snatchers have decided to kick the bottom in (Aubrey) and shake the gate like a little chimp trying to escape his unnatural habitat (Chad).

In the process of it all I’m learning how to laugh at the things they do without them seeing me. For example, Aubrey voice changes when he’s instructed to do something he doesn’t want to do. It’s like a little cub growl as he says, “I don’t want it”. Kind of like a toddler horror scene. Or him throwing his pair of shoes out of the car window at the drive-thru. Though mad I had to laugh as I ran through the drive thru to pick them up. That’s what I get for offering fresh air. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Needless to say, my journey has only just begun. Thanks to their late father, he’s really left an extension of himself in them both. They are both super smart; Chad represents the small yet strong & mighty and Aubrey represents the stubbornly determined adorned in a suit and bow tie. Kind of gnarly if you ask me. Im nervous yet excited just the same. I’m so interested in seeing where this ride is going to take the three of us.